Category Archives: Ask Dan’s Mom

Most Fridays, when I’m not too overwhelmed by work and life, I publish an exchange with my mother, Marilyn Smith — psychotherapist, anxiety expert, and genetic wellspring of my neuroses — about anxiety and anxiety disorders. Sometimes I forgo these exchanges and publish questions from readers, and my mom’s responses. If you have a question about anxiety you’d like me to share with my mother, please email me at [email protected]. (Note: I reserve the right to edit submissions [delicately, lovingly] for grammar, length, etc.) 

Dear Dan’s Mom: I have been thinking about having my first child within the next year or so, but I’m anxious about weaning myself off of Klonopin (which is the only medication that truly helps me, after a decade of experimentation) and Neurontin (which was prescribed to me years ago for racing thoughts). Of course I will be doing this under medical supervision, but I was wondering if there was any general advice you could offer about going through the process. (more…)

Most Fridays, when I’m not too overwhelmed by work and life, I publish an exchange with my mother, Marilyn Smith — psychotherapist, anxiety expert, and genetic wellspring of my neuroses — about anxiety and anxiety disorders. Sometimes I forgo these exchanges and publish questions from readers, and my mom’s responses. If you have a question about anxiety you’d like me to share with my mother, please email me at [email protected].

Dear Mom: It’s been a couple of weeks at least since we’ve corresponded about my anxiety. You’ve been fielding other people’s questions, and haranguing them to breathe. Frankly, it’s been nice to have someone else be the target for a while. But I thought I’d chime back in here because I’ve been pretty anxious again and could use your advice. You see, I’ve decided to go back into therapy. Cognitive therapy, to be specific. And it’s freaking me out. I don’t mean the anxiety is freaking me out. I mean being in therapy is freaking me out. (more…)

After a short hiatus in which my mom went to Portland to visit my brother and I forgot to get her material in time, “Ask Dan’s Mom” returns with answers to four questions from anxious readers.

If you have a question about anxiety you’d like me to share with my mother, please email me at [email protected]. (All questions will be posted anonymously.)

Part 1 of “Ask Dan’s Mom” here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here. Part 5 here. Part 6 here.

Dear Dan’s Mom: I’ve been anxious most of my life, but didn’t have my first full blown panic attack until the age of nineteen, at which point I was put on Paxil and given Klonopin as needed. I continued to live life to the fullest until last year when a medical misdiagnosis sent me over the edge. My anxiety turned into an anxiety disorder. Even though I do CBT on a regular basis, I have developed a full-blown phobia/fear/belief that I’m going to develop schizophrenia. I’ve tried thought replacement, distraction … everything. And yet this is still something I fear on a regular basis. (I should mention that I don’t hear voices, I don’t think the world is plotting against me, I don’t see Jesus, etc.) How on earth can I start to work on breaking this fear down and getting rid of it —Over the Edge

Dear Over the Edge: I  once led a group of “normal” folks with anxiety disorders who were mostly diagnosed with panic disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. This was in the outpatient section of a major psychiatric hospital. (more…)

Every Friday I publish a new exchange with my mother, Marilyn Smith — psychotherapist, anxiety expert, and genetic wellspring of my neuroses — about anxiety, anxiety disorders, and anxiety treatments.

The series “Ask Dan’s Mom” will soon be opened to questions from readers. If you have a question about anxiety you’d like me to share with my mother, please email me at [email protected].

Part 1 of “Ask Dan’s Mom” here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here.

Hey Mom.  I was planning to continue our conversation about therapeutic breathing techniques — I was supposed to practice Step Two before we moved on to Step Three — but to be honest I’m not prepared. It’s been a lousy week. A lot of anxiety. A lot of tension and thoughts of things falling apart and anxiety-induced fatigue. I hate when this happens, and probably I should have been especially dedicated to the breathing this week. But it never seems to work that way. The more anxious I get, the more despairing I get, and the more despairing I get the less motivated I am to work on my anxiety. Probably this is something you hear a lot from your patients.

Dan, my gut Jewish mother reaction is to make a big pot of chicken soup and drive it over to your place. (more…)

The lovely woman shown here is my mother, Marilyn Smith. Marilyn/Mom is a psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety disorders. Which means that she was first a human being who suffered from anxiety. That, after all, is usually why people become therapists: because first they were patients. You like the smell of paint, you become a painter. You’re scared that the fumes from an open can of paint are going to give you leukemia, you become a shrink.

My mom and I have an interesting relationship. It’s a very Jewish relationship, I think, in that we are capable of loudly denouncing each other and then hugging and laughing as if nothing ever happened. (Every meeting is like the dinner scene in Annie Hall.) I attribute a great deal of my anxiety to my mother, simply on genetic grounds. There are other grounds, too, which I cover in Monkey Mind under the heading “Hurricane Marilyn.” But here the most important thing to note about my mother is her remarkable and invaluable expertise. I have never in my life met someone who knows more about anxiety, both clinically and personally, than she. (more…)